


Caller's Name

by AlexNow



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexNow/pseuds/AlexNow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">Christmas AU where Dan and Phil once dated and Dan fucked up.</span>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caller's Name

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Christmas holiday, since it's almost here.  
> I fucking suck at geography so if I get anything wrong on the climate on the regions I mention here I apologize. Have in mind that this is a fanfiction and therefore almost everything here is fictional. Including the Phan pairing (well, right now it’s unreal, though quite obviously there was something going on there before). Leave your hate in my inbox on Tumblr. I don’t care. Even keep it anonymous if you want! I assure you that if I receive it I will read it. Get as rude as you please. Have your fun. And if you have anything nice to say, thank you! I will read it as well and will send you your own personalized Dan and Phil life-sized cardboard figures.

The walls are more than slightly cold, seeming to burn the palm of the boy’s hand every time he places it on the concrete. It’s a freezing day in London, as always during these months, and Phil clutches his coat to himself even closer as he quickly walks through the barely used pavement of the usually busy streets. He thinks everyone’s in their houses drinking hot chocolate and laughing along with their family members on the full table, glistening turkey in the middle. Phil sincerely wishes he were doing the same with his own relatives, that the blizzard will magically stop so the airlines could function again and he leave on vacation across the world with his parents and brother. Though he knows it can’t possibly happen, he still hopes.

His frantic eyes move quickly over every near object to him, as if waiting for it to turn into a vicious creature and attack him, though thankfully that doesn’t happen seeing as his great tall pale Slenderman figure managed to scare them away. He smiles at his irrational thoughts and even lets a laugh escape his lips. Very mature, Phil. Very mature indeed.

As he passes a café he is tempted with the heavenly smell of the addictive drink entering his nose and he instinctively breathes in, taking in the scent and wanting to just stop in his tracks and get in. If not for nutmeg, then just for the simple heat the shop provides. He forces himself to keep on walking though, and he sighs in both disappointment and relief when he passes the lure completely. He’s sure he can get one later, after all, Christmas isn’t over just yet. Sadly.

When he arrives to the building it’s oddly silent except for the sound of the winds hitting the windows viciously. Phil blinks and turns to look over his shoulder, and calms down when he still sees people on the streets outside, laughing or running through, anxious to arrive to the welcome feeling of their homes.

He waits patiently in the elevator, ignores the robotic lady’s voice as she announces the floor he had asked to be sent to. He nervously eyes the mirrors at his sides, just _waiting_ for some type of demon girl to appear (since he’s convinced that not even the jolliness of Christmas can save him from such tragedy), and sighs in relief once there’s a _ding_ come from the speakers, signaling he has arrived. When the steel doors open, he smiles and steps out, the grocery bags dangling heavily from his right hand.

When Phil finally unlocks the front door to his the place he has learned to call home, he casually drops the bags next to the couch and he yells the name of his flatmate, expecting an immediate response to his shout.

“Dan!”Phil calls again, and he curiously approaches the hallway at seeing the light on, but no sign of human life. He tries to call the same short name once again as he nears Dan’s room and passes through his bedroom to find it exactly the same as when he left, the blue sock on his bed intact.

Phil finally arrives to his room and he knocks twice and presses his ear against the wooden door in order to be able to hear anything if there’s any general activity going on in there. He hears nothing.

“Dan? I’m back with the food, in case you want to eat. I was going to buy some coffee as well but I figured we could just make some here so I brought a can of it.” He announces. He still doesn’t hear anything, until he cautiously grabs the door handle before twisting it, only to find it locked.

Phil _actually_ jumps at the sound of something harsh dropping from inside. It’s obviously heavy, considering there’s some cursing coming from inside. Phil sighs and shakes his head with a small smile on his lips as he realizes it was probably Dan who fell off the bed.

“Going! Let me just—Yeah. I’ll be right out. Thanks.” The younger boy’s worn out voice, but still enthusiastic as ever for Christmas though, Phil nods and steps back, only later noticing that Dan can’t possibly see him.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be in the living room.” He replies nonchalantly and walks away from the other. Even though their break-up as a pairing happened more than half a year ago and even though that they are supposed to act like friends again, Phil can’t possibly get out of his mind that this same person talking to him serenely and in a collected way is the same person who told him they couldn’t possibly be together any more.

_We just aren’t intended to be a double, Phil. We are individuals and no matter how hard we try… we just can’t be any more. Maybe I should I realized that the moment I moved in, but it’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?_

Evidently Phil is still affected by those last words were said by Dan about their relationship, before they pretended that _they_ never happened. Dan had practically cleared out that it was even stupid for them to move in, that it was a bad idea for Phil to offer him a place to stay after dropping out of University.

“You brought Shreddies?” Comes a voice from behind Phil, who was beginning to put all the food in the cabinets. He yelps and he jumps around, to find Dan bending over the breakfast bar to check out everything Phil managed to buy in the cold. He keeps his distance though, and Phil is grateful.

Dan laughs and his brown eyes seem to show a bit more of life compared to just a couple days ago, but Phil responds by glaring playfully at him and scowling. This makes Dan laugh harder and say, “You jumped so high!” only to cause Phil to sigh in a frustrated matter and pout at the unfairness of the situation. For only a moment he thinks that’s it’s like before, when they were still just best friends, nothing more or less, but the thought disappears as soon as it had emerged.

“Yeah,” Phil responds, still a bit annoyed, “You should be thankful, actually. It was one of the last boxes there. Apparently many people in London eat them.”

Dan scoffs and leans over to Phil to take the box away from him and examine it himself as his elbow rests on the table, he turns it to the nutritional section and Phil stops breathing at the sudden unreliability of his actions. He wonders whether Dan is until now trying to make their relationship the same as before they dated.

_But it’s a bit too late for that, don’t you think?_

Dan’s old words still appear at the top of Phil’s mind bitterly and he shrugs it off as he continues unpacking all things from the bags, not even bothering to ask Dan for help.

“I really _doubt_ that, Phil.” Dan replies, rolls his eyes. Phil is still tense at the proximity of his actions though and refuses to turn around. He shoves a banana in the fridge a bit too roughly.

“Aren’t Shreddies, like, more American though? You know, since they eat them more over there than where they were first produced.” Dan continues thoughtfully. Phil forces himself hum in response to let the other boy know he’s listening, though he really wishes he could just tell Dan how _he doesn’t care_ and wants to tell him to just go back to the awkward situations they got in together after the break-up, having to still live in the same flat.

Awkward situations involving the two of them mostly mean being invited to gatherings with their friends (who are still the same) and having to arrive _together_ but try to immediately go their own ways after they step foot in the club, uncomfortable situations (like that one time Chris was so drunk he accidentally let slip something like ‘What? You guys got here together? Are you back dating?’ which made Dan and Phil extremely uneasy), having to go to a vbloggers reunion together which meant silent voyages, and then there’s holidays much like this one. They’d always end up in giving their friends much like Carrie, Cat, Chris, Pj, Jack, Finn and many more their own gift. Only, it’s been quite a long time since they gave each other one. The last time they received one from one another was Valentine’s day. The next holiday after that one was after their break-up… and their anniversary.

Phil is quite happy, actually, not having to go through the awkward exchange of presents.

“And I heard that Reese’s Pieces are _the best cereal ever_ though I don’t know whether I’ve seen it here considering I don’t even know how the bloody box looks like.” Dan is still rambling, and Phil has run out of stuff to mindlessly stuff into their cabinets. He has no other choice than to turn around, unless he wants to listen to Dan’s incoherent thoughts spilling from his mouth until he’s out of something to say. Considering that will take quite a long time, he takes his only choice left.

He regrets it the moment he does.

Dan’s face is close, and he is no longer leaning low on the breakfast bar. He’s upwards with his elbows stretched out onto the table and almost matches Phil’s height. He’s not doing anything especially unnerving, but Phil being able to notice the details of Dan’s every feature is unsettling enough.

Should it be that Phil remembers those same dark eyes peering up at him as they used to watch movies together, Dan’s head on his chest? Would it be those same simples dimples making Phil wish they were back to when they’d do videos together? Could it be those same lips curled into a flawless smile, pursed and holding back a grin? Phil has never admitted it before, because he’s honestly afraid of what’s to come, but he hates Daniel Howell.

“Maybe you should go see if anyone is free, so you could spend Christmas doing something interesting.” Phil says, his expression emotionless and he is instantly taking a step back until his shirt vaguely caresses the marble of their counter. Dan’s lips falter slightly, wavering until they finally settle into a confused and forced smile. The genuineness of it no longer exists.

“What do you mean?” He asks, and a strained laugh manages to let loose. He seems caught off guard at Phil’s words, as if he were hoping Phil would play along and they could just go back to the moments of joking and playing.

“I _mean,_ Daniel,” Dan flinches at his full name because he knows Phil enough to understand that the older boy never uses the name unless he’s joking or talking about something serious that must be comprehended, “Thatwe just aren’t intended to be a double. We are individuals and no matter how hard we try we can’t be any more. Maybe I should I realized that the moment I let you move in, but it’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?”

Dan flinches at the words repeated of what he said so long ago, and regretted daily. He knows that he isn’t forgiven. He never thought he would be, really, but just _knowing_ is a complete different sensation. Phil exits the kitchen and he stiffly sits on the couch, knowing Dan is still in the kitchen in silence. He turns on the television and settles on the Spongebob Christmas Special.

Moments later he hears footsteps exiting the kitchen. They stop behind him.

“Carrie called. She knew we were going to be alone since we couldn’t go with our parents for Christmas so she said we were welcome to go to hers if we wanted.”

Phil bites his lower lip and nods at the television, not once turning around. He hovers his thumb over a button on the remote control before finally deciding and changing to watch the Simpsons Christmas Special.

“Cool. Tell Carrie thanks for me.” He at last responds. Dan doesn’t move, and for a moment Phil wonders whether he’s still even there because he can’t even hear the other’s breathing. But then Dan mumbles an ‘okay’ and he slams the door on his way out without another word or another movement. Phil wonders whether Dan took a thick sweater with him to protect him from the cold, and decides that it doesn’t matter.

He stays there motionless for a couple hours, in front of the television and doing nothing productive. He doesn’t see what’s happening before his eyes, and he snaps out of his endless trance until he notices its dark outside. His eyes glide through the open curtains and he sees the moon. It’s pitch black and with no doubt it is past two in the morning.

Phil glances at his cell phone and sees he has no missed calls or any text messages, and he is slightly concerned. When Dan is running late or not coming home for the night at all he always leaves a message or calls, no matter the circumstances. Even after the most awkward situations after the breakup he’d always let Phil know. Always. What makes this time any different?

Phil grabs his phone hastily and immediately calls Dan, not caring if he’s going to seem like a hypocrite after being rude and then calling for some news, as long as he’s sure Dan is still alive. Phil just doesn’t like the idea of having someone he knows dying, whether it’s a person he dislikes or not.

He sorrowfully lets his phone fall to the couch when he hears a phone ringing from the dark hallway, and he gets up as he lets it ring. He makes his way over to Dan’s bedroom and carefully opens the door, and bites his lip painfully hard as he makes his way towards the nightstand where the Dan’s phone lights up to reveal a smiling picture of Phil leaning into the phone camera. His name is on the top and Phil still doesn’t make any movement towards it, until he slowly grabs it and hangs up to ignore the call.

He sets it back down and swallows before looking over his shoulder, as if hoping Dan would appear at the doorway and demand to know what Phil was doing in his room.

Something bright catches his eye though, and Phil sees a box on the center of Dan’s neatly made bed. He approaches it and notices the bright red wrapping paper with a golden ribbon. Right next to it, dangling in a thin thread from the ribbon there’s a folded piece of paper. Phil grabs it and with his thumb folds it open.

_Merry Christmas, Phil._


End file.
